THE ‘WHAT ZONE!!

It’s not hard to find a topic to write about.. I just randomly pick on what is happening around me at a certain point and turn it into somethingelse. Put my own spin and give my own opinions and i always have opinions.. lol.. I could go on and on but, i know how short the attention span of today’s youths are. So, i’ll save myself the broken nail and neck pain and just shorten this particular post.. 😀  

We all have  been talking about the various zones the people we crush over, like, admire, lust after, love and obsessed with can put us in.. Well, today i will be talking about all these various zones from my perspective.. lool.. I understand that we all can’t love, lust after, be obsessed with etc, with each other but we can ofcourse, zone each other.. lol.. I know we all have been zoned atleast once in our lives.. Yes, and some of us are zoned daily.. If ‘ not the ‘friend zone, it’s the ‘Fuck buddy zone, or ‘Set P zone, or ‘brother/sister zone, ‘Maga zone etc.. *phew*.. It feels painful to be zoned, especially when it is not the ‘Fuck buddy zone.. lool.. For those of you, in this Zone.. God bless you! Even I, have been zoned quite a few times and my zones, though.. Na wa!! You hear zones like, ‘Fuck buddy, ‘Wifey zone, Fuck buddy again, Too good for me (which i think is BS because if you are genuine, then you should be good enough for anybody); and some more even you couldn’t think of.. The most annoying zone , for me, is the ‘Fuck buddy zone.. Regardless of popular belief, not every girl likes to be seen as nothing for a friend that’s good for nothing but as a good fuck.. (Pardon my French, guys)..  I grew up a tall, skinny tomboy with the assets of a white girl (no endowments *sigh*) but all is well now.. ;D Ok, not all.. Still a bit of a tomboy but i am a model so, i am more of a sexy tomboy now (Been girly makes me uncomfortable).No worries, i  don’t sag, or walk funny but sometimes, i just tend to think like a guy because it’s easy and no stress.. lool plus, i think guys have more fun than girls. I know y’all want to know what brought on this topic??Well, this baby is tired of been zoned.. Tired of been objectified.. Anyways, i will be describing the various zones (well, ofcourse i thought up some of the names..lool) below;

FRIEND ZONE:

The most popular zone.. We all have been zoned here before at one time in our lives. The friend zone is that zone where nothing ever happens.. Guys tend to take this zone personal.. LMAO!! When that girl they have been drooling over and dreaming about, tells them “Sorry but we can only be friends” Ouch! That’s gotta hurt.. If this has ever happen to you then, My apologies!! *hugs*.. You know, I understand why some guys are gun shy after this kind of disappointment.. As a girl, I’ve put a couple of guys in the Friend Zone.. Its not something we do lightly or happily because we can’t love every guy that loves us neither can we lust after every guy that lusts after us.. Sometimes, things just need to be done.. Besides, if she hadn’t told you ‘No’, you wouldn’t have met the love of your life.. Oh Wait! Neither would you have met your worst nightmare.. 😦 (Sorry! Some things can’t be avoided).. We all can’t have rainbows and chocolate-filled lives.. Some of us will have to roll in cow dung, first..

FUCK BUDDY ZONE:

If you are in this zone, you are either happy or frustrated, depending on your personality.. You either, take the free sex, use and be used or be sad for been used for your body and sexual prowess.. Personally, I just think you should be happy because it means you have got her p***y on Lockdown!! But, it does suck if you genuinely like her.. If it’s not all about the sex for you.. Girls, that don’t mind been in this zone have their various reasons why. I think it could be because, she is giving to get something back, she is just a cheerful giver, a nymph or she is hoping to change his mind, as in get him to like her past just the sex, using sex which is dumb (No offense but it’s the truth) Why would he want to buy the orange when he already gets perfectly good ones for free..

 WIFEY ZONE:

This is the zone that gives girls too much hope.. You just put the poor girl on a bicycle whilst she is sleeping..*sigh*.. Is it fair? 😦 .. Some guys actually, mean it when they put their girlfriend in this zone but as for you guys that like to lie with this zone and you have a sister or sisters, remember there is a Lady called ‘KARMA’ and she is not the nicest person! Most times, some girls misuse the zone and some guys don’t understand what this zone implies.. If you put a girl in this zone, you mean serious business.. You can’t just put any girl or imply that the zone looks good in her future between you and her and then, you wake up one day and you don’t want to date her again OR the girl wakes up one day and decides to be in the ‘Bitch Zone (dumps your ass)..

PUBLIC P ZONE:

If you are in this zone, please “Go and wash your head in your village” 4get say, them they do you for the village! In short, Go and wash your whole body!!”.. If you have been put in this zone, there is another name for you.. I consider you, a soccer ball.. You get passed around, kicked around plus, anybody can score.. Some people get to score multiple times and others, well, Do the math! The girls in this zone, are too much.. A freaking epidemic.. There is NO RESPECT whatsoever in this zone.. 😦 Once you go public, you can’t go private because your assets have become useless or damaged..

SETTING P ZONE:

We never get tired of Setting P.. Personally, I blame whoever coined the phrase..*hiss*.. How can you think that someone is good for nothing but for Setting P?? That’s how some people will unknowingly Set P with HIV and other VDs like it’s a date.. Oh well! It is a date, after all.. One that lasts forever.. Lool.. As a girl, if you notice that guys just want to Set p with you and nothing else.. Please, give your life to Christ.. -_- *Halleluyah*.. As for you guys, that’s all about Setting P anywhere, everyday, anytime; Your manhood never miss before, that’s why.. Although, Setting P is good, sometimes but when it becomes a routine and a lifestyle, then (pardon me for saying this) “Dem dey do you” because one cannot just be that useless..  Your little head must be more ambitious than your big head (depends on which you think with). Setting P has become a job. Some guys even, go as far as to involve “Book keeping”; from Angela, Bukola, Charity to Zainab.. Do you know, if that sister you don’t know about is on that list??..  

MAGA ZONE:

If you are in this zone and truly a nice guy, I apologize but if you are an asshole that thinks, he is God’s gift to women then, #WhoCares!! The truth is, you are as useful as your car is mobile and your greens are available, don’t take it personal..  All y’all that make crappy ass comments like, “Don’t demand for what your father can’t afford”.. My reply to this is, “Don’t demand for what you can’t ask for from your mother” .. Most guys expect you to put out as payment for all the lunch dates, movie dates etc..*abeg, who send you??*.. I didn’t invite myself, you did.. So, why expect me to go “Sharon Stone”  on you?? It’s one of the reasons why, I pay my own way.. Atleast,  then I know, you can’t disrespect me because you ain’t gat s**t on me.. If I can’t afford to go out, then I sit down in my house.. I am not homeless *hian*..

BROTHER/SISTER ZONE:

If you have been zoned accordingly, then there is almost possibly no hope of getting to 3^rd base unless you step up. Yes, you like her and would do just about anything for her but most girls tend to overlook  you because, we all want a good guy as a best friend, not necessarily, a gay dude.. A straight guy is good enough and when we find one, that is comfortable with just been there, then we are good.. In the process of trying to get her to trust you, also drop hints that you want to be more than just friends, otherwise, you are zoned for life.. You get the best seat in the house, as you watch her life unfold before your very eyes and the only role you get to play is, the “trusted stead”.. Sometimes, chilling in this zone isn’t always a bad thing. Some guys end up lucky and get the girl. The truth is, when time to settle down comes, either for guys or ladies, we always settle down with those in this zone or the friend zone.. *wink*        

NB:

To all the guys that have decided that, I “look like fun” so, why not Set P with Frankie (Me) *sigh*..  You must be Setting P for your grand children’s generation because, grey hair is not the only thing you will find sprouting from your scalp, armpits and pubic region. *rme*. You are likely to become stale.. If after, you eventually get to know me and I turn out to be No fun at all, please let me know, so that I can either fuel your car, put you in a taxi, bus, keke napep or bike, back to where you surfaced from. I ain’t gat time for no retarded freak shows..

😀

* Before i forget, i will be posting the write up about Setting P very soon.. Still trying to arrange the whole process.. Have a bottle of beer with me (i’ll be having a glass of wine, ofcourse) relax and wait for it…*  

Smallville – Jermaine Riley

Isnt he just beautiful… *faints* (NL Smallville – Jermaine Riley)

You might not understand my obsession with this song but when I am done explaining and you have listened, truly listened with your heart filled with Love and Hope, you will fall in love with it just as I have, I guarantee that!

I remember the first time I heard this song.. It was on BET 106 and Park, on a good afternoon, I didn’t go to work that day so, I was chilling with my TV. I call it Faith that I tuned in at the right time.. As soon as I heard the first chord from that guitar, I knew I had found “The Song”.. It was.. It is that song.. That one perfect song, every girl needs, even guys do need it, too.. I don’t know what it is about the song.. Ok, its a lie.. I know what it is about the song.. The lyrics, the rhythm, the vibe.. Its beautiful.. Its perfect..

Whenever I listen to the song, my mind wanders to a different place.. A place called, Smallville.. A place where everything is perfect.. A place where Love is perfect (*sigh* Don’t mind me.. This song brings out the ‘mushiness’ in me). The lyrics are just right.. Exactly what every girl wants to hear from the guy she loves.. You know how we say “Actions prove why words mean nothing”? Well, this song is the exception.. Sometimes, some words are as true as they sound.. This song, with the right emotion is a freaking miracle..

The video itself, was another telling point.. It wasn’t exaggerated, wasn’t colorful, wasn’t pretentious.. It was as simple and as honest, as the lyrics.. Just a story about an ordinary boy in love with an ordinary girl.. Love, so strong and true, it heals the heart.. In order for us to move forward, we need to visit the past, to remind us of where we come from because only then, can we truly live..

I could write alot about Jermaine Riley but this post is about this particular song. There is definately something about Jermaine’s voice..*sigh*.. Its calm, sexy and unique.. Its so good, I listen to his voice and forget to learn the lyrics.. *The thing about me is that, I love music so much, I always look for new talents especially in R’n’B, and I change my playlist every other 2 or 3weeks, depending on how quickly I learn the lyrics of each song*.. Jermaine made me like the word “Smallville”.. Lol..
Most of us have watched Smallville but not I.. Never seen a more dumb superman than that one.. That girl has him on the ‘Dumb-o-meter’.. *rme*.. So, when people are talking about Smallville, the series, I am all about Smallville, the song..

One thing about me is that, I never play a song on repeat for more than a few hours on the first day but I’ve got Smallville on repeat for about 3 days now.. *phew* and its been amazing.. Every time it comes on, it feels like the first time..

This song is so beautiful, it doesn’t matter whether you are single, in love with someone or crushing on someone; it has a way of bringing peace into your heart..

*Yeah, I know some of you still don’t understand but #WhoCares!!*

I am sorry i couldn’t attach the link to the song for y’all to either download or listen (i was experiencing some technological issues), so when you are done reading this go on Google, download and listen.. He has other wonderful songs like Wonder woman, Can do it, Key to the city, There is only one me, etc.. Hold up!! How about you just download his album, Hello earth!! You definately wont be disappointed… 😀

NOTE TO JERMAINE RILEY

Jermaine Riley, i don’t usually do this, actually, i have NEVER.. lol (If you ever read this and i hope you do) you tweeted at me (@feistyIce_) a couple times and made my day on those particular days *faints* hehehehehehe..  I am saying the ‘Biggest Thank you’ ever said by any fan of yours and I love you *screams*.. I am your No 1 African fan!! *goofy grin*lol

Men and Pick up Lines!!

What gives Men the reason to hit on any lady? Any lady at all, all the time, anytime, every other day?..

 Sometimes, a girl just needs a break. Yes, we do.. We definately can’t live by weak-ass come on lines alone, you know.. From personal experience, I have gotten pissed off more times than I can count.. What do you think a girl’s response should be when you send her a BB request  out of the blue between the hours of 11pm and 4am?? Is that your own Happy Chat hour? If I don’t like you and we didn’t make any prior agreement or something of the sort I will NOT answer, whether I am awake or not.. You send me any request @ midnight (What time zone are you in? :S ), my 1st reaction is to DELETE, then think about it afterwards and that’s If I even remember.. Lool.. If I accept your request, I must either be feeling good, charitable or just plain nice and this happens not often.. I have rejected more pins than a b***h has spread her legs since I had my 1st BB… (Yeah, right! I wish… Lmao)..

 Anyways, I had 1 very persistent request contact ( for lack of a better name).. We were going back and forth for almost a whole week.. We were playing the Ignore and Re-add game and I had all the time in the world to Ignore.. You know the worse part for me about meeting new people, is all that “Let’s talk about you” OR “Tell me about you” business… If my life were that awesome, I would have my own Talk Show or something.. *RME*.. Expecting me to pour out my soul the 1st day you meet me or d 1st time we talk.. Dude! I don’t even pour out my soul to my besties.. How boring is that, when you know everything about the girl on the 1st day? Waaaaaaaay boring! Half the time, its not like y’all can accept the truth without judging.

 The most annoying are cheap, over used, devoid of humor pick up lines.. Those whack lines that put that dazed look on your face like 0_0.. For those people that know me or have been subjected to my sarcastic nature, you know what I mean.. I can smell ‘whack lines’ a mile away.. The most annoying one is when you stop me on the road.. *shivers*.. Oh Lord!! Why would you assume that I would want to stop and talk to you? *Mummy said, I shouldn’t talk to strangers* Hehehe.. Oh yeah, another one is, in the bus..  Guy, it’s a short journey to our destination, I am not going to give you my pin, number or even my real name.. Period!! I know most people would say, that’s wrong but shoot! If its not affecting you, put your opinions in your bag and zip it up…

Sometimes, ladies just want to go a day without been bombarded with lines the devil would preach against.. I understand some guys probably don’t have any idea how bad the lines are and some girls do fall for them but I really can’t blame them, you know.. They just can’t help it.. Most people think Men are dogs, chasing everything that walks, sits or lie down, that wears a skirt but I just think Men are more confused than anything else.. Indecision, lack of self control, the thrill of the chase and plain old lust, amongst others..

 Don’t walk up to me and give me some cheesy line like “Do you know you are beautiful or Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”.. Nooooo! I apparently, just got out of the underground cave I’ve lived in all my life.. X_0.. What happened to humor?? Did your sense of humor catch onto how dead your personality is, hopped on a Harley and skipped town?? Most guys think money does the trick and proceed with buying the bar.. My dear, Ladies like me would do 2 things:

1: Drink up and leave the bar with the funny guy on our other side..

 2: Walk away before you are done saying “Bar man”…

 Don’t come up to me saying “Damn! You are tall”.. No way! I am?.. *rme* Is that the best you can do? Why don’t you just shoot me, instead?  Or, you approach me on the street telling me to give you my digits with the pretense of having a business preposition… ‘Oh! Have I got a fake number for you’..

A few weeks back I just finished my Runway rehearsals for a job I have at the end of the month, so on my way out, I was approached by an Ibo man with that thick Ibo accent *sigh*(My Ibo friends, I love u guys and no, I am not dissing your tradition :*).. After all the mind draining small talks and insistence on my digits because he wanted to discuss business with me, which ofcourse, was plain BS and I was tired of all the running around. So, I decided to ask outright “Skip all this talks because I know its just an excuse to keep me here, what exactly do you want?”.. Ofcourse, we all know the end to that agonizing conversation that had my ears bleeding.. *phew*…

 Truthfully, Guys, humor goes a long way. Its never too late to acquire one.. If you know that one girl that just isn’t saying Yes because your lines are weak or she isn’t interested in your money (if you have money, that is), then don’t you think, its time to try Humor?.. :]Y

😀

 NB: Oh yes, I do remember I will be posting a write up soon about Setting P for virgins but I will be trying my hand at doing a write up for guys.. Hmmmm… Oh well! Be expectant.. 😀

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TRUE LOVE!!

Isnt Love beautiful…

This is suppose to be a short funny story, written for a good friends’ boyfriend, bestfriend and friend on his birthday….

This is my way of saying a big Happy Birthday to my bestie, Bukiez boyfriend, best friend and friend, Seye.. But, best friend and friend, though. I keep telling Bukie that best friend and friend? Really?? I remember the day she told me about Seye.. *hehehehe*.. Anyways, this post is to report what they both agreed to do last week that was suppose to happen at the end of the month. There are some things that happen, that you never thought would happen at all.. Yeah, one of those things happened..

So about two weeks ago, Bukie pinged me and asked me to make reservations for her and Seye to Accra, Ghana for vacation because she would be travelling out soon to further her education. I said, Yes and that I would make the reservation when i get to work the next day.. Most people don’t know this but am a sucker for Love! Ok, now you all know… *give yourselves wedgies and move on*.. RME!

Next day, I arrived at work and pinged Bukie to give me, her and Seye’s info (names, phone number, email add, destination and date – departure and arrival date), so that canto ahead and make the reservation.. *For those of you that don’t know this, i work for a local airline*.. Anyways, Bukie told me to hold up on making the reservation, that herself and Seye still haven’t concluded on the plans.. Then, I decided to remind her of the requirements needed to travel to Ghana etc.. No. 1 requirement is “You must have a Yellow card”.. Bukie ‘screamed’.. Lol.. Ok, what is wrong? I asked her.. She said, Yellow fever injection hurts .. SHOCKED! Oh! Was I shocked.. Buahahahahahahaha. Bukie, it’s just a shot, i said but Bukie’s mind was shut tighter than a reverend sister’s habit to her head.  Apparently, she had already made up her mind, in this her old age, to NEVER take Yellow fever shots.. Oh wait! This is the best part… So, also Seye.. They bought have made up their minds not to take the shot.. When Bukie told me, my first question was, ‘Are you serious?’.. So, because of shots, you are cancelling your trip.. Yes, Bukie said.. If she had been standing beside me, I probably would have smacked her.. Who cancels a much needed trip because of a shot? I do not care how painful the shots are.. It’s just one shot!! Have the shot and move on, yes? It’s like saying, I will not eat noodles because it comes in a nylon pack or, i won’t watch Twilight “the movie” because I have read the book…

So, that is how I finally experience first hand, what people would do just to avoid a little pain.. Yes, Bukie.. A little!! Loool…

NOTE TO SEYE:
I Know we have never met but you make my friend happy.. Actually, you make her annoyingly happy *rme* and we know Bukie knows how to annoy when she is happy, with all the BCs and PMs.. You are the big cup of B & J ice cream on a good day with pasteries and all the works.. *we both know how huge Bukiez appetite for food is*.. Lol.. Thanks for being her boyfriend, best friend, friend and everything nice.. Apparently, you are the good guy that became “The One”.. I am happy because my friend is happy and when my friend is sad, I am.. -_- *dusting my boxing gloves*.. Both of you,  together, define TRUE LOVE!!
I hope today was as perfect as it was meant to be… God bless u, Seye.. Thanks!!

Hi guys,

I have this write up i have been looking forward to posting for years now.. I wrote it for a friend on one of his earlier series on his blog but he never posted it for some reasons best known to him.. It hurt me, though.. Panda, if you are reading this, just know that you did hurt my fragile heart when you didn’t post my write up on your “Setting P” series.. Anyways, i will be putting it up very soon.

Alien or Human??

*Baby, you are tall! Giant! My height! Jesus! You are tall o! I like your height! Etc*

Exact words and more, I hear when I walk down the street/road or wherever.. My reaction is either a smile, a nasty look or I say, “I am not an alien, you know”.. *shrugs*.. I am definately NOT apologising for this statement but some Nigerians just never removed their head from inside their neighbour’s ass or they still have their brains on, backwards.. Am I honestly, the tallest girl in the world?? I couldn’t possibly be.. Strangers aren’t the only ones commenting on my height, even my friends.. I happen to have a lot of short friends.. (If they say am too tall, then I consider them too short eventhough, they are of average height).. Lmao! :p
I am not even upto 6ft.. I am 5ft 12 but, I am thinking maybe its because I am not stereotypically skinny or overly big.. I just have wide hips and shoulders.. Regardless, of all that, I still think I look totally beautiful… *Oh pls! I don’t need your opinion on whether I am beautiful or not*

Anyways, if I weren’t born with a tough skin, I probably would have committed suicide by now, like those whities do when their world aint perfect… I have always been the tallest person, right from childhood so, whenever I meet someone taller, I always feel good and “normal”.. Like, I ever do anything normal… Loool!

#Random: I think keke napep drivers are worse than bike drivers.. Jeeez!! *hanging onto my shadow* *scared shitless*

So, these people that apparently think only guys should be tall, I wonder where they were when the rest of the world was evolving..*hMmmmm*.. Its always funny when guys comment on my height especially when they go “I can’t date you because you are taller than me!!”.. Ok, Kevin Hart!! I’ll endeavour to be shorter than you whenever we walk down the street..*rme* Like, I would even date you.. Please, move on!

 I dated a guy that was about 6ft 4. *sad smile*… Wish things went according to the way we want them to, we would all be happy.. I have got good memories, though.. Much love to all the good ones, that just never turned out to be “The One”.. (Unnecessary talk, ba? Yeah, I know)..

I wake up happy knowing that, I am not tall and hanging from nothing but skin and bones.. *phew*.. Lool.. But, sometimes I wish I were short, u know.. Hmmmmmm.. So, I’ve actually had short guys ask me out before and it always makes me feel bad when I have to say, “No” because they are good guys but c’mooon! I can’t wish for feelings that aren’t there.. Its just thesame way, some average guys won’t date tall girls, some tall girls just won’t date guys they are obviously taller than..
Most people say to me, “You better take what you can get.. There are not many tall men alive” and I always say to them, “If God wants me to marry a man, I am taller than, He’ll give me the heart to love him just the way he is”.. Otherwise, I am Moving On!!  Come! What happen to Basketballers and all the other tall men alive??

The way people stare at me when I walk pass them is always funny especially when I have extra inches on with the help of my heels.. Just like Nelly Furtado’s song “Big hoops ( the bigger the better)”, with me, “Bigger definately is better” *wink* loool.. Although, apart from my height, nothing else is bigger.. Model,s shouldn’t have big butt and breasts. I feel great when I tower over everybody around me but it sure does have its disadvantages… In a crowd, I can’t hide… I have never been able to blend in, I always stand out whether I want to or not and its all thanks to my height *rme*… What was I thinking collecting in excess when God was sharing??  Hian!

I am sure we, tall and shapey ladies always feel good when we strut our stuff.. You know that “walk” when you feel good about yourself, regardless of ur height? Yeah! That one especially when you have confidence and ofcourse, dressed to the ‘D’.. *wink* lool.. Well, you don’t have to be all dressed up.. Lol.. Personally, I think tall people have the most fun because we can see above all others.. For example, at a concert, we don’t have to climb on shoulders or fences to see the stage… Lol.. #Jokes!! You know, I don’t know why short guys are complaining.. Atleast, you are closer to the boobs… Save yourself the stress and hug a tall girl, today!! Lmao!

Anyways, been tall is not a bad thing, same as been short is not a bad thing, either.. And, I am not an alien.. Admittedly, a complicated sarcastic weirdo.. 😀 *wink*